Job Description
This is the season of year-end performance review. As I conduct performance reviews for my team and receive my own, I reflected upon my inner journey in receiving feedback.
Growing up, I learned to brush off praises and compliments. Perhaps, it was childhood conditioning where my mom would say
âAiyo, sheâs not smart la. Your daughter is better, so disciplined, so smart.â
I internalized that as: ð ðð¦ ð§ð¨ð ð ð¨ð¨ð ðð§ð¨ð®ð ð¡. ðð¨ ð©ð«ð¨ð ð«ðð¬ð¬, ð¨ð§ð ð¦ð®ð¬ð ð¬ððð² ð¡ð®ð¦ðð¥ð. ððð¯ðð« ðððð¨ð¦ð ðð®ð¥ð¥ ð¨ð ð²ð¨ð®ð«ð¬ðð¥ð.
Whenever I had any achievement, I would say âð¼ ððð¢ðð âðð£ð ðððð ððð¡ð¡ðð.â
When others complimented me, my reflex is - ââðâð, ðð ðð. ð¼ð¡âð ððð¡âððð.â
I would brush off any idea that I did a good job and focus on what could be better. I want to, yet I resisted acknowledging my achievements or good qualities. It is as though it wasnât right if I gave myself even a moment to feel good about it. As though, I donât deserve it.
I felt held back, regardless of how much I have done or achieved. Deep down, I resisted acknowledging myself because I was afraid. I was afraid that this will mean that I have stopped being humble and will not improve anymore. It was tiring.
One day, I went to a workshop and there, I learned to choose a more empowering thought:
âI can acknowledge my progress AND be betterâ
Yes! It wasnât mutually exclusive. I do not have to disregard my progress or achievement. I can hold them in my heart and bring them along as I move forward. I started practicing allowing myself to acknowledge my progress. It wasnât easy to feel that I deserve it.
I used to only believe the performance improvement feedback and would feel awkward if I hear positive feedback. Now, I learn to say thank you. I spend more time celebrating success and I gained more confidence in what I am doing. I feel ðððâð¡ðð.
Allow yourself to acknowledge the journey you have made and accept the positive feedback you receive. Instead of brushing it off, allow it to land within you.
I am interested to know, ð°ð¡ðð ð¢ð¬ ð¨ð§ð ð©ð¨ð¬ð¢ðð¢ð¯ð ðððððððð¤ ðð¡ðð ð²ð¨ð® ð«ðð¬ð¢ð¬ððð ðð§ð ð°ð¨ð®ð¥ð ð¥ð¢ð¤ð ðð¨ ð¬ððð«ð ðð¥ð¥ð¨ð°ð¢ð§ð ?
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